| Me: | I just need to know if I am dying maybe. |
| Doctor: | You're not dying at all. At all! |
| Me: | So I don't have a parasite or worms? |
| Doctor: | Uh, did you travel to a 3rd world country recently? |
| Me: | No. |
| Doctor: | (confused) Ok so you don't have a parasite I'm sure. You can't have worms or a parasite. |
| Me: | Ok so what about Lyme disease? Or a tumor on my sinus causing pressure on my frontal lobes which could be instigating the constant nausea? |
| Doctor: | (blinks) |
| Me: | Just say I don't have Lyme disease. I have the Internet so just humor me. |
| Doctor: | I think what will really help you is some yogurt and Zantac. |
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